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Does anyone else feel super stressed when trying to plan family meals? You’re not alone! Pleasing everyone often feels impossible. And why is it so important to establish a family meal plan? I wrote an entire post about this topic which you can read in full here, but I’ll summarize it in one sentence:
It’s better for you and your children emotionally, psychologically, and physically (no matter what type of food is being served or consumed)! Enough said.
So now, let me give you 4 simple steps to make the family meal planning process stress-free!
#1: Prioritize Family Meal Times
First and foremost, if you set aside time for your family to eat a meal together, then you have already succeeded! If you are new to eating together, start small, especially if any family members are not excited about sharing family meals. You don’t want it to feel forced or cause more stress, so start small. Try setting aside 2 days a week to all sit down for a meal together. Once you see how fruitful it is, I’m sure you’ll gradually be able to start adding in more time for family meals. My family likes to know what’s planned for the week, so I write out the weekly meal plan for family dinners and post it on the side of the fridge each week. Here’s a great meal planning pad plus a grocery list on Amazon.
#2: Serve Preferred Foods at Every Meal
Chronic psychological stress is one of the most inflammatory sources (aka bad for your health) so the primary goal is to make meals less stressful. Preparing meals for your family can be challenging and meal prep for picky eaters is especially hard! If your child is going to get very dysregulated (super upset) about seeing [insert formidable food here] on the table, then don’t put that food on the table! Does this mean you can never eat that food again if you have family meals together? Of course not, it’s just a place to start. Save that food item to serve yourself when you’re not with the family, like at lunch during the week.
The more your family comes together at the table, the more comfortable your child will be around different foods. Always serve at least one food everyone likes. I don’t mean exclusively that everyone has to agree to like one food (this may be very difficult in some families), but rather for each individual, make sure there’s something on the table they like.
#3: Encourage Participation in Meal Planning & Preparation
When kids are empowered to make choices, they thrive! So when making your family’s weekly or monthly meal plan, ask each of them what they’d like to have one night. They will be eager to participate in family meals when they know their opinions and preferences matter.
Recruit help in the kitchen and allow your kids to make their own choices about what goes on their plates (family-style). If you’ve been agreeing with everything I’ve said so far, there’s a good chance you want to push back now. I know how hard this can be, trust me! Are there times when I don’t do this? Yes, but the times I do, I don’t regret it.
The more kids are exposed to different foods, the more likely they are to try them. I hope to share more on this in the future. If your child doesn’t enjoy helping with meal prep or cooking, don’t push it. Maybe they will enjoy setting the table or making their plate.
Family-style meals include serving all components of the meal in large dishes on the table or kitchen counter, allowing each person to serve themselves, like a pot-luck! If you’re like me and don’t want to dirty extra dishes, you can have your family serve their plate from the original cookware the food was made in.
Allowing your child to choose which foods and how much they want gives them autonomy. It also makes the meal feel safe so their guard is down which will allow them to feel the freedom to try something new (if they want). If they don’t put vegetables on their first plate, don’t say anything! Model for them what a balanced plate looks like, and they will pay attention without you saying a word. Jo Cormack (a registered therapist) says allowing children to have autonomy with food leads to control, curiosity, and calm. You can read the full article here.
#4: Lower the Bar and Lower the Stress
Lastly, and most importantly, if you want to have a stress-free meal with your family you need to lower your expectations. While this may sound simple, it is critical. This will not only help reduce stress for yourself, but also for everyone at the table! If no one eats the broccoli, don’t be offended. Learn from it. Maybe next time you could serve cheese sauce on the side or just wait a while before you serve it again.
Creating a meal plan for your family is meant to decrease stress and increase connection. It doesn’t need to be a fancy or complicated meal. Prepare what you can ahead of time. Plan to cook a large serving to allow leftovers (one less meal to plan). If everyone loves it so much there’s not enough left for another meal, celebrate! If there’s so much leftover that people are going to bed hungry, don’t make that meal again, at least not for a while.
Focus on what you succeeded in – you were able to be with your family without distractions for 10-20 minutes. That is a win whether it feels like it or not!
You are human and you’re taking care of other humans. Things will not go according to plan every time (or let’s be real… will things ever go according to plan?!) If your plan is for a perfect family meal, then no, it will likely never come to fruition. The beautiful thing about coming together is that we see we’re not perfect, but we have each other.
Remember our goal is to lower stress at the table, and I guarantee lowering your expectations (both of yourself and your kids) will help accomplish this.
To summarize, here are my tips for a successful family meal plan:
- Set aside time to have meals together (preferably every evening, but start where you can).
- Always serve at least 1 food everyone likes.
- Let your kids help you cook (in any capacity) and serve meals family-style.
- Lower your expectations.
Need Some Ideas?
Who said planning family meals couldn’t be stress-free? If you like what you read in this post and feel like family-style meals are worth trying in your home, then I have succeeded! There’s no better time to start implementing this than now. Trust me, you will not regret starting this routine with your family. If you don’t know where to start, look no further – I’ve got just what you need! Download my FREE recipe guide below:
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